Ever come across a song, that really gives you goosebumps? Well I found one today. And I cant get enough of her. The song's really awesome, so those of you visiting my blog, feel free to watch this video. Its "Grow Grow Grow" by PJ Harvey.
Dayummmm her voice is like woahhhh....
2/27/2008 03:48:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
2/27/2008 03:48:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Today was great, as usual. I knew how she loves dogs, and I thought it'd be fun to go check out dogs and animals today. So I brought her to Ericsson Pet Farm, earlier this afternoon, at pasir ris. It was quite cool, but we only got to see 1 Shetland Sheepdog, the particular breed she's looking for. Haha. I could see the sheer excitedness and happiness in her eyes, and it was quite worth it.
So walked around abit, but it was kinda small and limited, but then it was fun. Then walked out quite some distance and took the bus to Pasir ris mrt and went over to Tamp mall to have lunch at Pizza hut. And then after all that, walked around, and she got some tops from Mango, one of which was quite cute. Actually anything on her's quite cute. Yeap, then sat around, talked and then had to leave with her, sending her off to church at 430. Ah well. My day was great, and should get to studying, but I'm tired. Maybe after a nap... till next time then...
And she tasted like love...
2/23/2008 06:22:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
To all who do not matter to me, please mind your own fookin' business and shove it up you uncle. seriously. Do not make hasty judgements about me, or my life, or my happenings. And do not insult my expressions, my feelings, my love and what I feel. Bugger off yeah?
And she's not a toy, for crying out loud. She's beyond anyone I've ever had.
2/21/2008 07:36:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
This next part is dedicated to my avid 'fans' from aussie who make immature jokes.
I've got but one thing to ask, are you girls jealous? So what if she likes black? And so what if she likes me? And so what if I'm black? Funny? Yes? Come laugh at my face then.
Not to worry I'm not angry. I'm just REALLY SICK AND TIRED how almost half the world still looks at colour and make remarks, if not judgements.
And another thing, I think you girls are jealous of me Grace. I write her songs, sing her songs, do nice stuff for her, and so much more for her, that you girls can hardly dream of from a guy, apart from being made use of.
I'm Indian, I'm dark, I've got Grace, I'm happy, and thats all that matters. :)
Love sees no colour, no size, no shape, no bullshit. I hate snide remarks, stupid looks of disagreement of a chinese girl and an indian guy being together. Get a life, get a brain, yes? please?
Grace is everything, so all you buggers, piss off. :)
Having said that, PEACE LOVE & EGGTARTS ya'll!
2/20/2008 07:44:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Ah wonderful days, wonderful weeks. I love em all. Sorry for the lack of updates.
So since my bday, things have gotten much more wonderful. I cant express how much i enjoy her. I cant express how much I love her. I just feel like sometimes, i wish everyone else could be as happy as me, and perhaps her.
Vday was awesome, though the after-effects of very little sleep took days to overcome. I sorta surprised her in the early morn, tho i think she sorta expected it. Made her a huge heart shaped cookie, got flowers and wrote her a poem, as usual. I dont really like it when people say, oh they dont buy into the whole vday crap. well, you dont have to spend money, but you dont have to. I kept the overall costs of my stuff to a minimum. Everyday with her is like valentine's day, just that if i got her stuff everyday, and did stuff for her everyday, the things would lose its significance, and anyway i cant get up at 445 every morning, and cant make cookies every night before.
Apart from that, seeing her, even if only for awhile now and then. Its awesome. I just hope i dont overdo anything. Apart from that, its all great. I just wished I could be so much more. but yeah.
School's ok I guess. Consistent work sorta pays off I think. But whatever. Kinda fun having my bunch of guys in class whom with we consistently make random jokes that sometimes are damn far off from being funny. So yeah.
It often never seems enough, I just want you more and more. Keep waking up day to day, loving you more and more. I just hope, like i mentioned, am not overdoing it. I just love you so damn much. Haha yeah. Ah well, but life still goes on, so dont worry, I wont consume your life. And sorry if i mess up now and then.
P.S. I Love Grace
2/17/2008 05:27:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
"You'll never find,
A guy like mine.
He's tall, dark and strong,
Thoughtful & caring.
Plus -- He writes me songs.
With him, I know we belong
Together. =) "
When a girl actually writes that to you, rushes off in the morn after a late night just to make your favourite eggtart, yet still meets you in the afternoon looking fresh and prettier than the prettiest bluest skies, or the prettiest flower ever, YOU KNOW YOU'VE ACHIEVED IT. Its beyond achievement really, I've even looked to the heavens and thanked. Grace, I've not got any more words to describe you, or how I feel for you.
Now you explain to me why I'm not stuck with a permanent smile. It makes all the 19 years of loneliness and whatever seem so distant. Nothing seems dark, or un-nice. I love everything, everyone. Wow. Today was simply awesome. Met grace at bugis, and she braved the pouring rain, took a cab, dressed so wonderfully, looked so pretty (as usual), and brought a mysterious gift that she was hugging to herself.
Tried to watch Sweeney Todd at bugis, but the Bugis *(femaledog)* refused to let us buy tix, coz grace didnt have her ic, then blah blah blah. but we were determined to watch the movie. So trained (lol not in a gym, like in a train) to Somerset and walked to cineleisure. And there, the nice kind wonderful lovely gentlemen at cineleisure let us watch as we wanted. Cheers to you cathay! And cheers to you censorship board!
Oh and before we train-ed off, she revealed her mysterious behaviours since that morning. She rushed off at 730am to her friend's house (thanks liz for having a part to play in making my tart!) to make my fav eggtart. It was simply awesome. Tried it when i came home, and like i had an oral-orgasm seriously! its beyond orgasm! but yeah. And she made a card, which she wrote that poem above. Ah i think i'm having too much happiness. My happiness scale has long tipped its scale.
So yeah, caught the movie. Sweeney todd, awesome freaking movie. Seriously gothic, and Mr Depp's talents are beyond comprehension, act, sing, joke, look freaky, kill. Alot of blood and slicing, but hell worth the money and trouble. It was a musical, and I thought i might not enjoy it. But its so crazily good. Grace was like scared, but hehe, she had a mighty big and strong protector! After the movie, slowly walked her to the bus stop we normally bid farewell, and then yeah took my bus home from there. It was all more than worth the 45min stand in the cold freezing bus. It was all more worth than any thing ever!
Ok here are some pics, not that many coz we weren't stoneing too much.
Under My Um-Buh-Rella Ella Ella EH EH SIAO AH!
Oh Baby Its RainingRainingRaining
Labour Of Love
Going 
Gone (Now i realise why they say a way to a man's heart is thru his stomach)
Heheeeeeeeeeeeeee
19th, yeah its the best. :D graceeeee is awesomeeeeeee!
2/03/2008 07:18:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
and again, I'd like to repost my previous writing. coz now it sorta makes more sense.
Your hair, its the only one I want to run my hands through,
Your face, is the only exquisite creation I long to see,
Your eyes, shining in the light ever so divine,
Your lips, keep calling me closer.
Your shoulders, the only one that seem welcoming,
Your bosoms, intoxicating ever so passionately,
Your body, yearning to be embraced,
Yet your lips, keep calling me closer. Y
our hip, set upon a corset of perfection,
Your legs, I'd tread continents beside,
Your feet, guiding forward,
Yet your lips, keep calling me closer.
You are the return of the beautiful, S
inking me deep, all swept away.
I'll have my wine in silence,
but my perfection is yet so far away.
2/01/2008 10:18:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
wow, its not even been a full week. But so much has happened. I dont know where to begin. oh what a week, what a freaking awesome week.
Last saturday was an emotional rollercoaster. Decided last minute to go ahead with meeting Grace, Liz and Yijun and Tampines. Was feeling weird after the straightforward, heart-to-heart chat with Grace the other night. But yeah, decided I still wanted at least a friend in her. So went to congratulate her on her O lvl achievements. But I never once expected it to turn out like how it did by the end. Lets just say, Grace my dear, I loveeeee you loads! ok, this is the only like, cheesy-happy post here in a very long time. But yeah. Christmas came late and my birthday gift came early (wrapped in a 16 year old girl). I'm at a loss for words really, but yeah.
So yeah, finally having her in my arms (not THAT literally) made my week so awesomely sweet. Just cant resist her. Muahahaha. The week went by, and I gotta say, its been one of the best week of my life. I found myself smiling randomly, sometimes to the extent my friend, Han Wei, actually asked me why I smiled. Like for instance, when the Bio lecturer said that the grace period for latecoming had ended, I just had a big smile. And to know that some miles away, there she was, sometimes also thinking of me. doodling my name, slowly revealing to people about us, all the small crazy cute things that goes along with all this, it just makes you feel so awesome, so inspired, so motivated and what not.
I really dont know what else to say, but even as I type this, so many sweet, awesome, cute, happy and, (you get my point), thoughts about her run through my head. I thought that with our school schedules we'll not get to see each other for a whole week, but even seeing her on Monday, Thurs & today Friday, it just sorta never seems enough. But life does go on, and she just makes it more than just worthwhile. I could go on and on, but yeah, to sum it in one line,
GRACEEEE I LOVE YOU, LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE!
you mean so much.
I just wish I could be a bit more perfect for her, and I am trying. We all have our issues dont we. And this coming monday is the day I turn a year older. After 18, 19 isnt that big a deal, and I just feel so old. But nothing's gonna stop me from smiling. Grace wants to go out on Sunday, to sorta celebrate. I seriously hope she didnt like spend money or like plan something. Its just that honestly I dont wanna be a trouble, to her or to anyone. But she actually cares enough to wanna do something for my bday, well, what more can I ask for.
Grace, if you read this, today you said something about everyone having an angel or guardian angel, just that we cant see them. Well yeah, I told you I believe in them, but thing is I can see mine. She's right in front of me, on my phone, in my heart. She's you. :)
Oh and thank you Liz and Yijun for the early pressies for my bday. It was nicely timed to go and buy to give Grace time to tell me that day. And I love the wand! and the soft toy cake! :D
2/01/2008 09:44:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Maybe it was good,
Maybe it was bad.
Maybe it was just me and all the things I said...
Sitting here looking at the passing cars,
You always make me happy enough to jump right to mars,
Yet i sit here still,
There are many things i never will.
I'd give up almost everything in an instant to be by your side, yet there are things, quite honestly I'd have to admit I love more. Such as my mum, my family. But anything else, I'd give it up.
I'm sorry for putting you through this, but its just funny how we got so entangled. Dont blame whatever and whoever. Just dont blame. I never blame anything. And I love everything and everyone (except pure evil-doers).
But you especially,
I'd run a continent or two,
just to be with you.
1/26/2008 12:09:00 AM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Its all so funny, so fucking funny. So funny I could laugh, yet I still wanna cry. cry so hard.
1/25/2008 08:45:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
I would just like to extend a big warm hug to Grace, and a big congrats to her on her results! Well done kiddo! Dont forget to keep working hard, and 2 more years and yeah. Maybe one day, I can actually be more proud than I already am of you, when you do really well in life and stuff. So rock on!
Also, congrats to my 2 cousins, though I doubt they'll read my blog. Hence the shorter speech of appreciation. Loves nonetheless! Rock on everyone! :)
1/24/2008 11:02:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Your hair, its the only one I want to run my hands through,
Your face, is the only exquisite creation I long to see,
Your eyes, shining in the light ever so divine,
Your lips, keep calling me closer.
Your shoulders, the only one that seem welcoming,
Your bossoms, intoxicating ever so passionately,
Your body, yearning to be embraced,
Yet your lips, keep calling me closer.
Your hip, set upon a corset of perfection,
Your legs, I'd tread continents beside,
Your feet, guiding forward,
Yet your lips, keep calling me closer.
You are the return of the beautiful,
Sinking me deep, all swept away.
I'll have my wine in silence,
but my perfection is yet so far away.
1/24/2008 07:28:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Ok, in an effort to blog more, yet keep it short and simple, I'm back! 2008's been hectic already, with J2 (finally) up and functioning. Never get to say out alot of things, so yeah shall leave it to this blog.
Yest was Thaipusam, and I followed my parents to the temple early in the morning. It was certainly an experience you dont get quite often. And I didnt know Singapore had so many Indians. Haha. It was packed, and it was 2am. Had to leave by 5 to go change and leave for school, and coz my dad wanted to go home and sleep. Didnt really get to see much kavadis, coz they're like all in the day time. but yeah. School's a killer when you've not got enough sleep and food in your system. But I got a random sms by Vanessa during my 2nd period, which made me smile.
Life's been ok I guess. I dont wanna complain about anything. Just wished somethings would actually go my way. Oh well. Peace, Love & Eggtarts! :)
1/23/2008 04:38:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Ok just surfed on to Blabbermouth.net and read on the passing of Vitek, drummer of Decapitated. My mouth just dropped. Why? Why now? I loved the band loads, mainly for the fucking kickass drumming. Only the good die young. In your case, you were great. I was hoping to catch you guys in a few years time, but it wont be the same anymore. My condolences and grief go out to his family and the rest of the band and his family. Vitek, if you're reading this from where ever, do know that even though you guys weren't one of the hugely famous bands, Decapitated and your drumming have really impacted me alot. First Dimebag, then Doc (of Vader), and god knows how many others luminaries. Take care dude!
11/03/2007 12:49:00 AM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Deepavali's getting closer, and yes I still refuse to call it Diwali. To me, a proud TAMIL, its Deepavali. haha but yeah. The only sucky part about deepavali is the fact I am forced to clean every inch of my room, and then help out with the rest of the house. And trust me, I could employ professional cleaners, and they would still take days to clean my room. Haha. But oh well. Its sort of 80% done, windows still need cleaning, and then my drums, which i wipe almost every month, but yeah. Cant wait for next Thurs! Still got a bit of shopping to do, but my Shirt is hell nice! YAY!
I miss my 'old' J2 friends, the ones I used to spend a hell lot of time with. But if you guys are reading this, which you shouldnt be, good luck with the As and mug hard!
I hate sth thats been happening. I used to diss this particular band alot, and totally hated it when some of my friends, yes ok I shall name the culprits (Karthik, Jheeva, Ashvin and whoever else wants to be associated). They used to sing and sing and talk loads about that band. And It wasnt like I didnt try to listen to them, I did, but i just despised them. Then recently another friend let me listen to the new album that this band had released, and she was a huge fan of theirs. The opening track was all that was needed to get me hooked. Then I ventured further, penetrated deep into regions where I hadnt gone before. It was stimulation, excitement, pleasure, warmth and everything else. Stuff I hadnt experienced before. I vowed never to go where I was going, but I couldnt. (lol? ok I sorta tried too hard to have some sorta double meaning) But yeah, IT WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT MUSIC! then she let me listen to the other albums, I wasnt immediately hooked, but titles that seemed familiar from the ramblings of the other friends, were awesome! Pyramid Song, Karma Police, Fake Plastic Trees, Knives Out, Scatterbrain, Kid A, The National Anthem, Paranoid Android, High & Dry, 15 step, & the ever popular Creep. I didnt even refer to anything and these titles have been stuck to my head, ears and whatever. So yeah, with guilt due to my metal brothers, and shame at my proud past-proclamations, I shall admit here, I LOVE RADIOHEAD!
But no dont worry, no coldplay, not now not ever. so booyakasha Karthik!
11/01/2007 11:59:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Megadeth. Friday Night. Hell of a night. Fucking tired. But worth it! It was one hell of a gig, even with all the sweaty bigger-than-me guys, and even with all the pushing and cramming up. I managed to catch Megadeth's arrival at the airport in the morning, but they all seemed so tired and dave was especially moody. Oh well ur forgiven for the fact that you played a show the night before and travelled and have ur house and family back at home affected by wildfires.
Only managed to take a close up shot of Glen Drover, the rest zoomed past and I had to step aside in case I blocked the crew and the band. oh well. then I tagged them abit like a paparazzi. hahaha!
And they packed everything into the trucks and zoomed off. bye grumpy dave! Go sleep in ur hotel room. I still think you rock! So then i got my ass to school for the last period to get my prog report, which was a year overdue. then yeah ended school, and got home. Rested and changed and went to fortcanning alone to camp outside. I was expecting to be alone outside with no friends at fort canning park, but thank god I met some guys I knew from the local scene and stuff. Particularly this guy called Nat, and his other friends. Then sat outside the gates for like 3 hours, talking about metal and stuff. Wonderful guys. So then we were let in around 7, we were psyched as hell! 
Then waited, waited, sang along to the songs on the PA, got squashed, chanted for them to come on. But to no avail. Waited, waited, started sweating, waited, chanted at every single soul that came on stage, some started getting angry and chanted stuff like MEGAPUKI! CHEEBYE! and whatever. Haha was quite funny.
Then finally it started and it was awesome. I dont wanna be too much of a critic, coz I'm no one really to criticise stuff by metal gods. But all 4 of them were fucking awesome on stage, just that the sound was abit lacking in craziness perhaps. Was quite soft. Maybe its just me. But like at the slipknot and slayer concert, I went back partially deaf but fucking happy coz every single moment then my eardrums were getting blasted and my heart was dancing along to the music blasting away. So yeah, and as you can see the amps are relatively small for such big metal gods and for twin guitarists. Perhaps travelling light?
But yeah on a whole, cant discount them. They showed that they were a class above most metal bands today. But cant come close to my SLAYER! haha so yeah. And slayer were so down to earth and loving and caring, and they are suppose to be the 'satanic' evil ones. haha. ok dont blame me or anything, but I was sorta wondering after the gig if all the nice things mr.frontman mustaine says to the crowd is generic. Like us being a beautiful country, and that we look so beautiful and that they'll be back and whatever. but oh well. He looked cheered-up and happy on stage, but I got news he was back to being grumpy after going off stage. So yeah. Oh well. like I said, nothing beats SLAYER, not even Satan and his minions' band. haha.
Ok then some pics.
Spot me!
Haha I didnt bring my cam along for the fear of its destruction. Or perhaps the loss of it. So yeah I went as light as possible. In all I had alot of fun and it was worth it. but I pray for Immortal and Iron Maiden and Nile and maybe Slayer to grace these lands soon. But oh well. Ok till next time, stay fucking brutal!
10/28/2007 02:13:00 AM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
ok sorry for not blogging properly. Like I said, I'm not a very blogger sorta person. Give me music, and I can just sit and listen to it for hours. Ask me to comment and critic on music or bands, and I could go on for hours. But ask me to talk about my life and my day in particular, especially on a blog that everyone(ok hardly anyone reads my blog anyway) reads, and I just shy away.
School's been on and off and you know my situation of living so far away from school. So it really gets to me and gets me really tired, and by the time i reach home, I'm so bloody shitfaced. But the travel to school is great I guess, I get to reflect on alot of things, and really listen to all my songs. So yeah a 30gb ipod comes in handy for this. and no i'm not advertising for them.
lol thats from Scary Movie 4. Linsen loves talking about Scary Movie 3 and 4 in class. Haha. My class has been lovely this month or so. And thank god there are no casualties for the exams from my class. yay! cant wait for more class outings and class chalet. Should be loads of fun.
And thank god I did ok. Finally through. So yeah I can now go for Megadeth's gig on Friday feeling happy and relieved. Friday's gonna be huge, I've been a Megadeth fan for god knows how long. I just realised I mentioned the word 'god' like thrice. Haha, see i've decreased my swearing! haha or have I?
And not only issit megadeth, but she's going for it as well. woah, like how cool can someone get. Haha I was supposed to blog about her, but its pointless and childish and I dont see the point of a shitass long post raving about someone and I wouldnt like one about me ever as well. So sorry if I see brash. But I'll just make it short and sweet. You matter so damn much to me, and its been all so quick, but yeah its awesome knowing you. I dont exactly fancy describing stuff online, but for what it matters, woman you rock!
haha makes me wanna sing Woman by Wolfmother. If you all have yet to listen to this awesome band, WHAT THE GOD ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Wolfmother, say what you want, are amazingly godly awesome! ok then its raining again, and i love rainy mornings and rainy nights. feels amazing. But i napped for 4hrs in the afternoon today, so i think I shall stay up playing Fifa and listening to Jimi.
I wanna name a child Jimi. Thats an amazingly cool name. And Jimi Hendrix is god. no this time I really mean god, not as I've used it before. Woah i didnt swear in this whole post. GOD YEAH! ok till next time. Sorry Hossain for not blogging properly! lol
And happy birthday to Hossain, Sharan, Pre, Shanti, Iylia. Sorry I've not been around much tho. haha
10/22/2007 10:50:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Ok i shall start blogging more often on a daily basis. And Sasha asked me to do it, so here goes. So anyway life's been good. Treat life well and it treats you back nicely, I think... So yeah. Firstly let me say how much facebook rocks, and no I wasnt paid to say that. I've met a couple of wonderful people on it, and it really helps to pass the time when ur so shit bored.
I think I'm addicted to South Park. I watch it when I'm having my breakfast, when I come back from school, when i'm bored or moody, and even before I sleep sometimes. But I try to watch one episode a day or every 2 days so that I dont finish watching all and have to go watch it again, which I'm already doing.
So yesterday I bought these 2 extra 2nd-hand drum toms from this guy who had an ad on a forum. Its and 8" (hehe what else is 8"?) and a 10" so now i've got a tom set up from 8, 10, 12, 13, 16, double bass drums. Problem now is I've got too little cymbals, shitty cymbals, and too few cymbal stands. Ok new aim then. here's a pic of my setup:
and yes I need to change some skins. Lol and notice how I have my splash on top of my middle crash cymbal. It creates a cool sound when I hit both (actually not really, I was just thinking of how to accomodate my cymbals) Haiz, and you know what's really sad? I dont have a ride cymbal. Anyone wanna donate money or cymbals? I'll dedicate my first hit to you.......
So yeah, need to slowly build up my home prac set. But aint it just majestic? hahaha when I grow up, I'll have a set thats all of one model, and not like my current Frankenstein. Its really put together from at least 3-4 different sets. The right side of my drum is all my navy-blue pearl forum kit. the left bass drum is a mapex old thing. the two new small toms are a black pearl forum and the other a green pearl forum. hahaha oh well. and the kit's beside my desk, so even when I turn and look at it now, I feel so seriously proud. Its like this child that you've grown for the past couple of years. and now its huge and majestic-ish. And I just realised I said majestic more than once. I just love my set!
Lalalalala. Sasha when you read this, do realise how much it rocks for me to be your friend. And it better rock to have me as a friend too :P This whole week has been such a lazy slow one, but I love just lazing here. Ok then till tomorrow, sayonara from Prabs!
10/04/2007 01:17:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
ah welcome all ye faithfuls. today was a good day. went to study with pre, karina, claire, jolyn, iylia, ziyang, mervyn, adib, ariff, sharmila. was quite good. i think i completed the most amongst the rest. haha yay! omg i dont know what i would do without them. haha life is good.
couple of their birthdays coming up, so yeah should be fun. alot of things been happening with friends. mainly shitty stuff. oh well all does get better with time. somehow i become the elder brother or something that almost everyone try to turn to. feels good at times, gotta admit coz the feeling of being there for others is quite satisfying.
I dont know how some guys get all the girls, yet the guys themselves are HUGE FUCKING RETARDS. sucks so bad to be someone like me and you have your friends whom are the girls getting used or getting hurt, and they turn to you. but oh well, i still treat them as my good friends. but its like, fuck where are any of the girls for me? i dont wanna stick my dick into any crevice, i dont wanna grope, i dont wanna boast about the girl i'm with, i dont wanna simply add her to 'the collection'. but none do realise that. URGH. and i cant openly tell that to anyone, coz thats just me and i hardly talk about any negative issue i'm carrying.
Its like when people or girls tell you about how some guy made use of some girl or her, and you just gotta listen and go oh, he's a cunt seriously. but in actual fact you wanna punch the wall or table so fucking badly that it breaks, coz no one realises about me. urgh. oh well. it sucks so bad. and thanks to the air for listening to me grumbling, and sorry to my desk and my room wall coz i still do vent alot on them
8/12/2007 10:01:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Pointing out flaws in a good friend is much much harder than simply pointing out the good points in them. And sorry if I was blabbering too much and making a fool out of us in the train. haha but it was all good. Just hope I didnt sound like a drunk cunt. haha yeap. Every storm clears up, every bad weather gets better, and every problem does eventually clear up just as well. And I'll always be here for you, even if not physically.
Bleed no reflection,
upon the shores of deception.
Ride through the darkness,
empty the feeling of emptiness.
The moon shines gently,
your beauty reflects relentlessly.
8/11/2007 11:31:00 AM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
k i'm back, and i just revamped the blog. blogs are good. they help you release and vent. I'm not gonna like reflect on the past months, coz too much has happened. thanks for everything to everyone who has helped me become a more mature and stronger individual. My new friends from myspace also rock so much, and I love you guys loads. Posts after this will be individualistic on nonsense and and my everyday ramblings sort. so yeap. woohoo! yay to blogging!
8/10/2007 09:56:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Ok sorry about the very long absence from blogging. I've been very caught up with stuff. But this time around i really swear I'll blog very often, and i shall use Vic's blog (a girl in school) as a motivation coz she blogs more than once everyday sort, which is damn cool. So anyway life's been quite good actually, but I'm still harbouring alot of problems, without anyone real to talk it out to. but oh well.
My new class is super fantastic! And I somehow became the Ct-rep, and somehow they all like me, which is great. All of them are fantastic, and really I dont think I've had a better class. Even last year, it was very clique-ish and weird. Bernice is my Co-CT rep and she totally rocks, yet sometimes she seems quite confused and blur. but whatever.
I turned 18 about 2 weeks ago, and finally i can like buy 'anything' and get 'anywhere' freely. haha its sort of a change i guess, coz now i dont need to stay worried when I'm like doing stuff i wasnt suppose to do coz of the age restrictions, but now its like when they ask, i can and have like taken out my ic with a confidence and flashed it to them and in my mind go ''HAHA, FUCKYOU!'' My class peeps are awesome and they even surprised me on my bday with a really delicious cake! and they actually planned it all and took the trouble...
I look really retarded, coz i was damn happy and my eye was irritating me. it was itchy. but once again thanks!
Karthik returned to Sg finally yesterday and we had a post-birthday celebration with him... haha asshole got high, and i think i also got quite high. I swear i had like 4 cans, but some of them said i had more. Ok but i wasnt drunk. 
It was fun at Fort Canning Park. yay kk i promise to blog more! till then bye!
2/20/2007 01:57:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
I found this on some site... I went like WTF, coz it was what i was telling this certain person just now on msn... and its so true... ok u can read it and all u girls, please learn and give us a chance... especially the one that makes me crazy inside... here goes
"This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all, "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
omg... its so true! all u nice guys alike out there, hang in there yeah, we will see the light some day...
9/03/2006 12:28:00 AM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Ok today was an ok dey, was not too bad... had fun touching all the badies and their heads and scribbling on them too... wish i had also shaven bald, coz everyone else seemed to be fascinated by them but couldnt be bothered with me... ok whatever i deserve to get locked up at home... stupid school and its tests... i hate it... i would stab each and everyone of the common test paper setters one by one in precisely 10 points around the left of their chest... urgh...
Ok then anyway today manpreet was quite nice to me, wonder why ah? ;) hahaha... then yah the day was good, those who often are bad to me *cough cough crunch cough cough* were nice if not nicer... huh ok that sort of didnt make sense... i'm in a stoned mood now...
Then upon coming home very late today, chikka messages me online telling me she's hearing that Slayer and maybe Hatebreed might be coming down to Singapore in october... LIKE WTF... i searched around forums online and yeah there are others who heard about it... WICKED!!! i seriously fucking hope they come down... Just like last year when i met Slipknot and watched them live up close, that was tremendously awesome... You just cant comprehend the feeling watching one of ur most favourite hardcore metal band live, after supporting them for years and years and praying almost everyday that u can get to see them live... so yeah, Slayer or the organising people, if u come across my blog, please give me a sign... hahaha... wee... love it... AND CHIKKA ROCKS! SHE TOTALLY BRIGHTENED UP THE LAST REMAINING PARTS OF MY DAY!! yay... k thats all for now... and i dont really drink camel semen, if u all were wondering... but i might...
7/24/2006 11:08:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
Well today the 2nd July, is one of my greatest friend's birthday. And he's Khabil. I dont know what to say about this guy, just that he is so totally like RESPECT. Seriously. The way he conducts himself, keeps his fitness to the top, friendliness and coolness is all like great. Only today has it really really hit me hard that he's not together with us in school, but hey, FUCK school. I dont need it to be close to him.
Jheeva planned a get-together at my house on saturday, the 1st, to catch both the quarter-final matches of England-Portugal & Brazil-France. Initially there were more people but somehow finally ended up with 7 guys, Jheeva, Kaswin, Subash, Vivek, Hossain, Khabil and Me. Also we surprised khabil with a cake that i had bought earlier and stored it in the fridge. He was happily shocked.
The first match was fucked up, and i have no bloody fucking comments. 2nd match, respect earned by FRANCE! Zizou still is god! So then we stayed up at night, and had sessions of going online and spamming and talking cock to people on msn. After the match, we went to play street soccer at 5.30am at the street soccer court near my house. Played and played till we were all super sweaty and i had gotten blisters and the skin on my left toe tore coz i started off without any shoes. Then came back to my house and like rested and like they had their breakfirst of my Mee-Hoon! the guys left around 8.45 and i was so pooped and tired.
So I took a nap and woke up at 12.30 coz the girls and some guys had planned to surprise khabil and bring him to orchard and catch a movie. I was so dead tired and lethargic. Managed to drag myself and wash up and get there right on time at 1.30. We surprised Khabs with yet another cake. Dheesha looked great, as usual, and she had done alot to plan all this and got him a wicked "One Tree Hill" DVD set. There's something else, but there were some delays so i'm not sure how we gonna like deal with it.
So at cineleisure orchard Khabil, Sruthy, Dheesha, Jheeva, Kaswin, Reshma, Sushma, Sranj, Crunch, Preetha, Manpreet, Hossain, Me all ate lunch and then we went to watch Scary Movie 4. Its prolly the only movie where i laughed so fucking much. But it wasnt as good as the previous ones. Then we chilled around, and went to play pool! That was so bloody fun and for more or less the first proper time taught others to play! I feel so happy, not proud (dont mix them up). I love the game and nothing's better than teaching your friends how to play well. Reshma was like woah, she was awesome. I seriously cant believe it. With more practice she's gonna be godlike at pool. Sruthy also progressed along the 3 games we played. She was very fun to work with. Oh yah, and she looked damn good today. =P Sranj was like quiet, as usual, but she also started getting the hang of it. Too bad Shrew and Sranj had to leave so early.
We then took pictures and then went to get food and took the train down to the Esplanade and went to the river side place and like found a lit corner and sat down and like ate our burger king stuff. Was so nice to have like a night picnic. Got ideas already for possibly (or actually impossibly) a date in the future. That place was wonderful. Too bad the whole day my leg was aching after football and the blisters and the scrape all coupled on gave a fucking bad time whenever i walked. Its hurting badly now as i sit here. But it still a great day!
But looking back, the 1st and 2nd July of 2006, was more than a fucking big blast. I love it, and i'll remember it for some time to come. Khabil is more than a wonderful crazy assed guy, and i love him loads. Here's To Many More Years Of Fuckin Great Friendship!!
7/02/2006 11:39:00 PM
cause
I can't breathe and
I'm barely hanging on..
